Martha Stewart Doesn’t Live Here

Less Arguing, More Cuddling

My best friend Adi loves to clean. You can drop by her house unannounced, and there’s no mad dash to hide mountains of unsorted mail or clean the hall bath.

Unfortunately, that’s not the case at my house. If you come by unannounced — or announced – there’s a whole lot of dashing going on.

Truth be told, I’m not the most organized person. I believe everything should have an assigned place – I’m just not the quickest about putting it there. Still, I love a clean house, and it stresses me that I’m failing on the Martha Stewart front, which is probably why my husband drives me crazy sometimes.

He recently found a study that said 88 percent of families said the dad was the dirtier parent. The only surprise to me was that it took a study to discover what I’ve known for years.

Early in our marriage I assumed it was laziness that kept him from putting his glass in the sink or his clothes in the laundry basket. I now realize that the untidiness of his photo equipment and eBay inventory doesn’t bother him because he simply doesn’t see it — at least not until he can’t find what he needs.

Over the years, I’ve tried some of everything to bring order to his chaos: nagging (leads to arguing), arguing (leads to more arguing), pretending to ignore it (also leads to arguing) and cleaning it up myself (still more arguing because I inevitably throw away something he wants).

Honestly, the cure has been giving hubby a designated spot in the house for his things, which right now is the “big closet.” That’s where I now file (re: dump) most of his stuff. It isn’t a perfect solution, but it works for us. Now we can spend our free moments snuggling instead of arguing.

- Kim

Daddies Are The Dirtier Parent (so they say)

In a study I recently read, researchers discovered that 88 percent of parents think that dad is the dirtier parent (study was funded by my wife). Okay, I will admit that I am the dirtier parent, but I wouldn’t really call myself dirty. I just have a higher tolerance for clutter than my wife does.

Here’s my philosophy: As parents of three children, our house is not going to win the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval. Dirty dishes in the sink can wait until the next morning. Stepping over the clothes on the floor is easier than picking them up. And if I want to put my feet on the couch while wearing my shoes, it’s my prerogative.

Of course I got a C in philosophy when I was in college, and I’m obviously no Aristotle when it comes to cleanliness.

I knew things were bad when my kids got into my car one day and marveled that it was actually clean.

“Wow, Daddy,” said my daughter Nee. “We can actually sit down in the back sit without having to move stuff.”

That was the day I told them them that Chuck E. Cheese was dead.

Now I do teach my children the importance of being neat. They know that they are responsible for picking up after themselves and keeping the house clean. My sons, N and X, are pretty good at tidying up. My daughter, Nee – not so much. When she was younger, we read her a book called Messy Bessey. I think we may have inadvertently introduced her to her role model.

Although I blame that slob Bessey for corrupting my daughter, my wife blames me. She likes to say something about me modeling the behavior blah, blah, blah…

One Saturday, I tried to earn a few points by cleaning the garage. After several grueling hours, the garage was spotless and cars could actually drive inside.

“Thank you, honey,” she said. “The garage looks nice. Now can you move your stuff off the island in the kitchen and pick up your magazines off the living room floor?”

A man’s work is never done.

- Fred

Questions: Is this study accurate?  Are men really the messier partner in a relationship?

Popularity: 29% [?]