I Married a Food Snob
“There’s a difference between heating up and cooking,” a friend said recently. He meant it as a dig at his non-cooking, mother-in-law.
Others at the dinner table laughed and nodded knowingly.
I didn’t say a word, hoping that hubby wouldn’t call me out among friends, but we both knew the truth. I’m the heater-upper and he’s the cook.
It’s not that I can’t cook. I have a set repertoire of meals that I know how to make, but if you take me outside my comfort zone, bad things will happen. Like the time I made broccoli cheese rice from scratch and the rice didn’t cook. Hubby was so sweet, he actually ate it. I guess it’s pretty clear he didn’t marry me for my cooking.
My culinary shortcomings probably wouldn’t have been an issue if hubby weren’t Emeril Lagasse in training – and a food snob. He cannot stand food from a box or any of my other “quick and easy” meal tricks, which meant when we got married half of the meals I knew how to prepare, he refused to eat. When I made them, he usually had a polite excuse: “I ate a big lunch,” but his message was clear: that’s not up to my standards.
When I was pregnant with our youngest, I threw out my apron, and let hubby take over the kitchen. But last year I decided to give cooking another try. I solicited simple recipes (no prepackaged foods allowed) from friends and scoured the Food Network for ideas.
There have been some hits (Melissa d’Arabian’s Flexible 4-step Chicken) and misses (homemade chicken soup). But this time, I won’t give up.
Realistically, I will never be “Everybody Loves Raymond’s” resident gourmet Marie Barone. However, for the sake of my husband, I won’t be kitchen-inept Debra anymore either.
- Kim
Frozen Dinners Are Evil
My wife thinks I don’t like her cooking. Well, there are some things that she cooks that I can’t stand – Voila! Chicken, and frozen fish patties are the main culprits.
Before my work responsibilities increased, I did all of the cooking. I spoiled Kim with luxurious Cajun, Caribbean, and Italian dishes. I still cook Sunday dinner because I enjoy doing it.
Kim doesn’t receive the same joy from cooking. Her goal is to get a hot meal on the table in 30 minutes or less. After dealing with a toddler, a mischievous beagle, and two elementary aged children all day, I can understand why she views cooking with such a sense of dread.
Periodically, she will try a new recipe that she saw on Food Network. I make a point to show her how much I appreciate her taking the time to cook a special dinner for our family. There is nothing better than coming home from a business trip to a delicious meal that my wife has prepared.
But things are different when I see the Gorton’s fisherman. There’s always an awkward moment when I get home from work and see Kim placing a pan of Crispy Battered Fillets in the oven. We give each other dirty looks because she knows I’m not going to eat her “cooking” that night and I know that she is going to be upset if I don’t.
In an episode of Everyone Loves Raymond, Debra makes Ray a sandwich that he finds distasteful. After taking one bite, he offers his wife a deal.
“If you let me throw this sandwich out, you can call me idiot,” says Ray.
“Deal,” says Debra. “Idiot!”
The next time Kim makes fish sticks, I plan to offer the same deal.
- Fred
Questions: Who handles the cooking duties in your household? How did you come to this decision?
Popularity: 11% [?]
