He Invented the Internet, But He Couldn’t Save His Marriage

Good Days Don’t Automatically Last Forever

I’ll never forget that kiss.

After 30 years of marriage and four kids, Al Gore dipped his wife Tipper at the 2000 Democratic Convention and planted one on her that was worthy of a Meg Ryan movie.

Fred and I were relative newlyweds then and I remember hoping that after decades of marriage he would still desire me the way Gore did his wife.

Alas, ten years later and the marriage that seemed to defy our expectations of political unions was crumbling. The woman who challenged me to turn up the heat in my own marriage was separating from her husband.

When I heard the news of their break-up, I was shocked. Not because I knew anything about the quality of their marriage, but because of the longevity of it and because of that kiss.

There’s no faking passion, and those two definitely had the hots for each other back then. So what happened? While the answer to that question is really no one’s business but their own, the question itself is important for all of us who are married.

Marriage isn’t static; it changes. For me, that’s a praise God kind of thing and a scary one as well.

I’m extremely thankful that my marriage has changed over the years and that the rough days of a few years ago are gone and that Fred and I are happier together than we’ve ever been. But just as the Gores can attest, those good days don’t automatically last forever. If a good marriage is what we want, we have to work at it just like we would work at being good at our jobs.

By making a conscious effort to give each other the nurture, passion and focus that we need on a regular basis, Fred and I are fighting to keep the marriage we want so neither of us ever has to wonder, “what happened to us?”

- Kim

The Gore’s Have Been Married as Long as I’ve Been Alive

Divorce is always shocking, even more so when a couple breaks up after being married for four decades.

Kim and I couldn’t believe the news of former Vice-President Al Gore’s separation from his wife Tipper. They seemed like the perfect political couple – the yin to the Clinton’s yang.

Although I didn’t always agree with Gore’s politics, I did admire his family life. I still remember the infamous kiss at the 2000 Democratic National Convention where he accepted his party’s nomination for president. I couldn’t help but think, “Wow! There is a man who is really passionate about his wife.”

Like any couple, the Gores had their problems – Al’s devastating loss in the presidential campaign, Tipper’s bout with clinical depression, their son’s struggle to survive after being hit by a car. Any marriage could crumble under the weight of such serious issues. But after 40 years in the marital trenches, you’d think that a couple could deal with almost any marital issue that arose.

I”ve seen marriages fall apart in the early stages when couples are still trying to figure out marriage or after their children leave home and the couple realizes that they’ve lost their connection to each other. The Gores had passed both of these stages and seemed destined to enjoy their golden years together.

But marriage is a fickle thing. It’s hard to predict which couples will make it to forever and which ones won’t. I read an AARP study of divorces after long marriages that found men often initiate divorce proceedings because they have found someone else, while women pull the plug because they are tired of “putting up with stuff.” I’m not saying that the Gore’s marriage dissolved because of these reasons, but there was some deep-rooted issue that caused these high-school sweethearts to drift apart.

Kim and I have been married nearly 13 years and we understand the difficulties of making it last forever. We admire older married couples who are seemingly happy and hope that we can have that type of marital bliss when we reach 20, 30, 40, and 50 year milestones. In order to reach that point, we have to take things one day at a time and work diligently to keep the passion alive.

Al Gore fought hard against global climate change. I wonder if he fought as hard when the climate of his marriage started to change.

- Fred

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