Keeping Up With the Joneses Will Lead You Straight to the Poorhouse

Just Don’t Call Me Scrooge

As a kid, I had a life of relative comfort. Both of my parents were educators, we lived in the burbs, and I had everything I needed and most of what I wanted.

Yet, I was convinced we were poor. I guess I picked up this misguided perception from my parents’ frequent arguments over money and my circle of friends and acquaintances who seemed to have escaped from an episode of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.

Regardless of whether my poverty was real or imagined, it shaped my attitude toward money. Over the years, I’ve been called cheap, tight and Scrooge. And I considered all but the last one as a compliment.

Thankfully my husband was cut from the same frugal cloth. So in our nearly 13 years of marriage, I don’t think we’ve ever really argued about money. While I may occasionally want to spend more (ie. on a house), all he has to do is say those magic words “We can’t afford it,” and the argument is over because we both believe in living within – actually below — our means  with as little debt as possible.

The truth is I don’t need a fancy car or the biggest house or designer anything. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not interested in depriving myself either.  If I want to buy a cute new outfit or go to the spa or out to eat with the girls, I do so. But I also have no interest in wasting money trying to keep up with the Joneses.  I realized as a kid that I couldn’t impress kids who had indoor swimming pools and drove brand new sports cars so I stopped worrying about trying.

The result is a financial freedom that allows Fred and me to use the resources God has blessed us with in ways that honor Him and support our family. Now comes the hard part of instilling the same value in our three, materialistic children.

- Kim

“Daddy, Were You Poor?”

One night at dinner, my daughter was complaining about having to fold clothes. I told her that she had it easy because all she had to do was carry the clothes from the laundry room to her bedroom. When I was a kid, we couldn’t afford a washer and dryer or a car. Therefore, I had to load our clothes into a garbage bag and walk to the closest Laundromat which was about a mile away. After listening to my story, my daughter looked at me with horror in her eyes and asked, “Daddy, were you poor?”

Yes, I was poor by the economic definition. However, I never felt poor because we always had food to eat and clothes to wear, and most of the people in my neighborhood were in the same financial position. It wasn’t until I was bussed to a school across town that I realized that some people have more than others.

I was in awe of the kids who arrived in school in Cadillacs and wore Izod and Jordache clothing. My best friend, Gerald always had the latest Atari games and Penny Loafers with real pennies adorning the tops. This new environment made me embarrassed of my family’s financial state.

But I never bothered my mother with my trivial concerns about designer clothes and video games. I knew that she was doing the best she could just to pay the mortgage and keep food on the table.

Instead, I took her lessons on frugality and applied them to my life. In order to make some money, I collected aluminum cans. I saved all of my earnings until I had enough money to purchase the items I wanted and scoured thrift and discount stores to find bargains.

I’m thankful that Kim and I share a spirit of frugality. When we were in college, we sometimes had a hard time making ends meet. There were times that we had to scrounge up pennies just to have enough money to purchase one $0.99 cent burrito at Taco Bell.

But those lean times helped us to have a better appreciation for money. I remember one time early in our marriage when we checked our bank account balance and it was zero. We panicked and promised to never let that happen again.

Since then, Kim and I have managed to build a rainy day fund, pay off both cars, save for retirement, and start a college fund for our kids. More importantly, we have been able to share our blessings with those who are less fortunate.

Kim and I hope to instill the same financial values into our children. But it has proven difficult in this culture of consumerism. They want everything that they see and think that money is readily available. However, we hope that they will learn how to be good stewards of money by observing our actions.

- Fred

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