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You Saved Me

Recently, we attended a viewing of the movie, You Saved Me, produced by Tyler New Media. The film takes an in-depth look into the marriages of eight couples. It explores marriage’s trials, changes, successes, and ultimately, the healing that comes out of true love and commitment. The movie inspired us to express how our marriage saved us.

You Saved Me From Monotony

Fear was always a big thing for me: fear of swimming, fear of flipping upside down, fear of embarrassment and fear of failure. It probably all boiled down to that last one.

I spent a good portion of my life paralyzed by fear. I never wanted to try anything new or do anything outside of my comfort zone because I didn’t want to fail. I thought if I wanted to be loved or even liked  I had to be perfect at everything – or at least as good or better than everyone else. If that wasn’t the case, I wasn’t going to try.

Then I met Fred.

They say opposites attract. Well, he was my polar opposite when it came to taking chances. He always wanted to try something new, go somewhere different, experience something unique. Watching him embrace risk and change stirred something in me.

With Fred, I was no longer crippled by the “what ifs” that had kept me bound before. Instead he helped me to feel secure enough to venture something new. And I’m not just talking about trying new cuisines either, although thanks to him I like sushi.

Before Fred and I dated, there’s no way I would have pursued a career in teaching after I had a degree in something else. I would’ve felt saddled by what was “expected” of me and frightened by something unknown. But when I discovered that Fred’s love for me wasn’t conditional, that he wanted to be with me whether I succeeded or failed, I was finally freed from a lifetime of fear and worrying about others’ expectations of me. I was free to be who God created me to be.

Now you still won’t catch me skydiving, but you might see me on a zip line or a swimming pool thanks to my husband’s love for me.

- Kim

You Saved Me From a Nomadic Life

Kim saved me from being a nomad. If not for marriage, I would have spent my life moving around the globe without ever planting any roots.

I have a severe case of wanderlust. I’m always looking for the next adventure. The world is huge and I want to see every part of it.

My desire to wander started as a child. When I was about 8 or 9 years old, my mother took me to The Galleria in Houston. I had never been there before because we couldn’t afford to shop at any of those stores. I was amazed by the mall’s architecture and all of the fancy stores.

All of the glitz and glamour lured me away from my mother like a moth to a flame.

When my mother realized I was gone, she panicked. Coincidentally, a news reporter was in the mall doing a story about kids getting separated from their parents. My mother pleaded for help as the reporter interviewed her. After a mall wide search, my mother found me at the ice skating rink.

That was only one of many times that I wandered away. Things got worse when I figured out the public transportation system. I traveled to the every part of Houston before I was even a teenager. I’m sure my mom was thankful that I never made it to the Greyhound depot.

When it was time for college, I naturally applied to schools that were far from home. I finally landed in D.C. (where I met Kim).

After graduation, I moved to six different states within three years. It wasn’t until Kim and I were married that I finally decided to settle down in one place.

Although living a nomadic life seems glamorous and exciting, it can’t compare to the comfort of a stable home. It took a while to learn that lesson.

Periodically, I still ask Kim if she would like to move. She’s learned to ignore me. It’s probably for the best.

- Fred

Question: How has your marriage saved you?

  • http://decksidethoughts.blogspot.com Cheryl

    My marriage saved me from the same things that both of you feel so strongly about. My perfectionism and my wanderlust. My wanderlust was fueled by running away more than an adventurer’s spirit. I’d run before anyone could get too close to know the true imperfect being I am and will always be. I do love to travel, especially alone and unfettered. I’ve learned to fail is the only way to learn and grow. My husband loves me no matter what my faults are. Being able to take a trip alone every now and then is something we both do for very different reasons.

    • http://www.mochadad.com mochadad

      It’s great when you find someone who loves you unconditionally. Unconditional love is hard to find.

  • http://bloggingeverafter.wordpress.com/ {JeLisa} @ Blogging Ever After

    This was so sweet to read. :)

    Makes me want to ask myself this question about my own husband/marriage.

    • http://www.mochadad.com mochadad

      Did you ask yourself this question? If so what was your answer?

  • Chrissy0131

    My marriage has saved me from closing myself off to the people around me. When I was younger I would always ball up and keep my emotions bottled so as to not seem fragile and have people use them against me, it was my biggest fear: opening up to someone about certain things and then having the person fling that very thing back in my face as a way to hurt me later on down the line. When I met my husband I learned very quickly that I could be open with him about so much and he would never judge me or look at me any differently; it was when I learned that his love was unconditional that I was able to let him in more than I had ever let anyone in and I learned how to just be myself with him but also to work on some things about myself not just to please him but finally just for me. I still sometimes shy away from revealing all my feelings but he is so patient and loving that I learn more and more everyday that I can trust him with my emotions and it’s still a growing process but he saved me from being so introverted, expressing my feelings to him has made me a better person and a better wife and mother.

    • http://www.mochadad.com mochadad

      Being able to fully express ourselves in a safe environment is one of the benefits of marriage.

  • https://needmarriagehelp.com Marriage Course

    I still sometimes shy away from revealing all my feelings but he is so patient and loving that I learn more and more everyday that I can trust him with my emotions and it’s still a growing process but he saved me from being so introverted,

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